If you aren't afraid then you damn well better be. Run and hide from this 90 foot terror. A man so amazing that every time he chops one guy, it injures eight. The innovator of the true five star match and perhaps eight of the craziest moves in wrestling.
Burning Hammer. Heard of it? One of the greatest finishers ever.
Bow before the godliness of Kobashi! Kobashi! Kobashi!
I PRESENT PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.
Trying to jack his car? He'll smile as he punches the shit out of you, destroying your face and your soul all at the same time. He doesn't even have to unbuckle to do this.
He's beloved by fans from children to elderly. Look at those thrilled children accepting his double hand shake. Seconds later he whipped them about and smashed them into the wall leaving their frail broken bodies on the floor. The parents of the children bowed and accepted this. Kobashi is unbalanced. Don't challenge him!
Kenta Kobashi shortly before transforming back into human from his demon form.
Do you think that Kobashi paid for or even ordered this meal? Naturally, he did not. That man in green was originally enjoying this meal until forcefully removed from his seat by Kobashi. He patiently waits in the background for the table scraps that will be left over. Oh, and Kobashi totally banged that dude's wife. He's just that cool.
Kobashi and one of his man romantic conquests. His smiling face is reminiscent of the joy experienced in youth, which of course he can return to at any minute. That woman was a virgin and a nun until seven minutes after meeting Kobashi.
Kobashi after a grueling match with a giant tentacle monster. Man-God vs Tentacle monster exhibition matches are common in Japan. This was during his GHC title reign and WAS for the title. He defeated the monster in 5 minutes, then ate it's heart to gain the unholy strength.
(Side Note: Did you know Misawa had a daughter? He was married and liked video games too. Still sad at his passing... into the Gates of Hell to defeat the Archdaemon. It's a secret mission he's been sent on that few know about. He'll return in 189 years to reclaim his throne).
1 comment:
that was the FUNNIEST thing ive EVER read. its 8 in the morning, i just got out of bed. i cant evenb see straight right now. but you just made me laugh. out loud. like a psychopath. the entire time i was reading that. PLEEEEASE. DO MORE OF THESE. some of the most entertaining comedic wrestling ranting ive ever seen. bravo sir. and im STILL sad about misawa. i always will be. but indeed, kobashi needed misawa to kill the archdemon in hell, so i guess i can give misawa the break from the human world for the next 189 years.
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