All Japan Pro Wrestling (y'know, that other company in Japan... the one nobody pays attention to) held a show at the Ryogoku Kokugaikan the other day. At this show Satoshi Kojima, otherwise known as the man with one of my favorite names in the world, put his legendary Triple Crown championship on the line. Against who? A giant chunk of fat named Ryoto Hama. Surely it was no contest. Surely Kojima retained his crown against the rookie of only a year. Surely the man who weighed in excess of 400 pounds and tags with Akebono in a veritable buffet of tubby immobility. No. No. Ryoto Hama WON the Triple Crown championship. THIS GUY (on the left).
This guy is fat in ways that Yokozuna only dreamed about. I'm just in absolute shock that he won the title. Although given the fact that AJPW is basically ignored these days, I'm not surprised that Mutoh would pull something like this in hopes of some attention. Some western fans seem to really be into Hama... but I'm unconvinced. This was a big gamble that I'm not sure will play out how they want.
Since I caught wind of this bit of news I started wondering about the rest of the champions around the wrestling world. I can't say that I actually follow this form of entertainment as closely as I used to these days. I check up every now and then out of morbid curiosity more than anything else really. I stopped being a fan of the "genre" of television when I realized that most companies weren't making an appealing product for me. Even a company like TNA which started off on the right foot eventually decided it needed Bischoff and Russo to face fuck it into the ground. So I'm going to take a look at the "world" champions, which I just researched on Wikipedia because I realize I don't know where else to find this information anymore.
WWE
WWE World Heavyweight - Chris Jericho
I think I knew this, but it was still a delightful surprise to see that Jericho was the champion.
WWE Heavyweight - Deacon Bautista
How very ordinary and boring. A weightlifter wins a belt in MacMahon's company.
TNA World Heavyweight - AJ Styles
One of the few people deserving to hold the title on a regular basis. Quite good.
NOAH
GHC Heavyweight - Takashi Sugiura
What? Though he's a good wrestler I don't see the sense in this. Don't see a long reign here with such competition as Morishima, Marufuji, Shiozaki and Rikio. Let's not forget KENTA is almost healthy again.
NJPW
IWGP Heavyweight - Shinsuke Nakamura
My man Shinsuke! Always a contender, always good. This company is gleefully forgetting the Lesnar and Sapp days of 2005-2006.
AJPW
Triple Crown - Ryoto Hama
See above...
NWA "World" Heavyweight - Adam Pearce
Holy awful! Why did it go back to him? Oh yeah, because he books himself to win it all the time.
RoH
ROH World Heavyweight - Tyler Black
Probably a good choice but I can't really be sure since I stopped watching before he hit his zenith. He's no Nigel or Danielson, but not bad.
Well, that's my look at wrestling. Don't expect another one for a long time. I'm really not interested in wrestling anymore. Maybe NOAH and NJPW, but nothing domestic.
1 comment:
i cant believe that fat melting marshmallow with broken legs won the title. wow. look at that picture again. WOW. so so so sad the state of wrestling.... except NOAH, they still rule, even though they lost ever single big player in the company this year.... sigh.
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