I blink and two hours have passed.
I blink again and it's midnight.
I close my eyes for a second and when I open them it's tomorrow.
I just can't get time to slow down right now but who amongst us can?
A Bit of Bitching
I have every intention to be productive but get lost in my own mind and goings on. I keep an irregular schedule and allow myself endless distraction. I might have three days off at a stretch but it goes by so quick. In a three day stretch I have hundreds of ideas float in and out of my head. It's a bit crazy how little it takes to get inspired. It's also a bit crazy how easily I distract myself.
I am a consumer and not a producer. I consume everything. Information, culture, emotion, food... and allow all that to build up and rip apart my mind. When I feel most capable of producing something amazing I return to consumption mode. It's time to watch a new show or research some new whim or play some other game for "inspiration".
What is inspiration? Sudden creativity? A sustained flow of ideas? A lie?
Who knows.
I have an incredible headache at the moment that seems to be rendering me unable to get anything done. So instead of doing anything, as I intended to, I do this. I write a babbling blog. I figured if I can't do anything too intense I'll just blather on about nothing right here. I need to manage my time a lot better. A lot better.
Thanks to Turkeys Day
Thanksgiving is just a few days away. I'm looking forward to it this year since it'll be a change for the first time in forever. Usually I just stay at my parents house and eat their modest dinner and then sit around being lazy the rest of the day. This year I'm amongst Ashes' family and will participate in their gigantor feast, which happens to be taking place right in this house! There is a certain amount of pleasure knowing that I can gorge myself on what I've been told will be a massive amount and variety of food and then retreat to my room and nap it off.
The variety of food is what I'm looking forward to the most since my parents stick with the same stuff year after year. That's not a bad thing, necessarily, I'm just a person that is constantly looking for new experiences especially in food. So while I enjoyed Thanksgiving at my parents house it didn't get me as pumped up as I am this year. Ashes' family is pretty cool too so it'll be nice, mostly for her, to have everybody around.
Dark Days
After Thanksgiving we have Black Friday... which I am not even going to get into here. It's a day that has the masses scrambling for deals on outdated junk. Personally it's something I've never taken part in because a) I never had the money and b) I usually worked. This year I work later in the day so I can look for some deals I guess, but I'm not going to sit outside the doors like the sickening deal chasers.
The word stampede comes to mind. People in certain areas die in stampedes at religious gatherings, tragically. Here in America we die in stampedes at stores in an attempt to get something just a bit cheaper. Amazing eh? I'm sure the death toll is miniscule, probably less than one a year, but still...
Acceptance
I've come to the gradual understanding I'll never make it to Japan, Korea, China... Asia. That was never the course my life was going to take I guess. Living vicariously through the blogs of others is my way of visiting those lands that fascinate me so.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
The Other East
I just can't make my fingers type tonight, I just can't do it. I'm suffering crippling writer's block even though I have a wealth of ideas to put into words... but I just can't get started. That's really the hardest part for me, when writer's block hits it overtakes and destroys everything! I can't defeat it and it's holding my life back!
What do I do?!?!
Write, I guess. The only way to solve it is to write.
So tonight aside from continuing to watch DuckTales episodes I've been doing some cursory research into Eastern history. And not just the stuff I usually look into and would consider my specialty, Japanese and Chinese history. No tonight I looked into the other East, namely Persia and Arabia. There's quite a lot of interesting history that goes largely ignored in a traditional education. These regions are an untapped resource and a great influence for an aspiring writer like myself. Their was a golden age of Arabian culture when it was the most advanced society in the world (arguably with China) which is a fact that few Westerners would ever admit. A few weeks ago I looked
There are several factors that make studying these regions difficult with names and language being some of the biggest barriers. If you are able to get past that, and I am, the ancient histories of these regions open their treasures up to study. I've done some quick looks at Arabia and Persia in the past but I want to really read in depth about the history of these two areas. It can never hurt to have such an influence in fantasy writing, y'know, and I think this area of the world has been largely ignored. From names to mythology to traditions the "other East" isn't well represented in fantasy. Mostly just retellings of 1001 Nights. Ancient Persia was so much more than just Greece's rival. There was a strong Zoroastrian nation there when there were no Christian nations.
That's what I'm doing now and I want to try and craft a world or region of my own based on what I'm discovering in Arabian and Persian history. Maybe. Or just increase my knowledge of the world by understanding better the history of a large area that has become very troubled in modern society. In fact I would say the modern cultures in these areas are very much the antithesis of their ancient counterparts and my studies might show me the path to this modern world. Where once there was an Islamic enlightenment there is fanaticism and ruin, and I want to know why!
It's all part of keeping my mind active and healthy. If you don't use it you lose it. I'm a student of the world and history and I intend to be for the rest of my life.
What do I do?!?!
Write, I guess. The only way to solve it is to write.
So tonight aside from continuing to watch DuckTales episodes I've been doing some cursory research into Eastern history. And not just the stuff I usually look into and would consider my specialty, Japanese and Chinese history. No tonight I looked into the other East, namely Persia and Arabia. There's quite a lot of interesting history that goes largely ignored in a traditional education. These regions are an untapped resource and a great influence for an aspiring writer like myself. Their was a golden age of Arabian culture when it was the most advanced society in the world (arguably with China) which is a fact that few Westerners would ever admit. A few weeks ago I looked
There are several factors that make studying these regions difficult with names and language being some of the biggest barriers. If you are able to get past that, and I am, the ancient histories of these regions open their treasures up to study. I've done some quick looks at Arabia and Persia in the past but I want to really read in depth about the history of these two areas. It can never hurt to have such an influence in fantasy writing, y'know, and I think this area of the world has been largely ignored. From names to mythology to traditions the "other East" isn't well represented in fantasy. Mostly just retellings of 1001 Nights. Ancient Persia was so much more than just Greece's rival. There was a strong Zoroastrian nation there when there were no Christian nations.
That's what I'm doing now and I want to try and craft a world or region of my own based on what I'm discovering in Arabian and Persian history. Maybe. Or just increase my knowledge of the world by understanding better the history of a large area that has become very troubled in modern society. In fact I would say the modern cultures in these areas are very much the antithesis of their ancient counterparts and my studies might show me the path to this modern world. Where once there was an Islamic enlightenment there is fanaticism and ruin, and I want to know why!
It's all part of keeping my mind active and healthy. If you don't use it you lose it. I'm a student of the world and history and I intend to be for the rest of my life.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Entering Winter '10
The leaves are finally falling from the trees and the barren winter landscape is presenting itself. With snow certainly right around the corner I've found myself looking to hibernation. Couple hibernation and my own personal bubble of relaxation.
It's not hard to find time to really enjoy downtime now that I'm working again. I forgot how much work, any work, took out of you. It's a great feeling to have your personal time after spending so long doing a monotonous job. Work is a draining experience, even if all you're doing is performing my simple duties. I wonder if it's different when you enjoy your job? I'll figure that out one day. For now though I'm finding myself coveting the down time between my working hours. I still have many, many free hours and days a week but somehow it's different than before.
Tonight, for example, I got into my fantastic grey robe and put on some DuckTales. This was absolutely divine. Simple, sure. Fulfilling, definitely. Throw some coffee into the mix, maybe some internet time and some quality time with Ashes and that's a day well wasted. Am I finding it harder to be productive? A little bit, but my mind is actually feeling a bit more focused. And relaxed. That's important to me at this point since I work much better when I'm relaxed and focused. After this holiday season is over I might be able to use that to get something done in terms of my life. For now I'm going to stick with coffee, the robe and some quality entertainment.
While unemployed it was nothing but "free" time. That was actually a very, very bad thing. My mind was all over the place while I was unemployed. I struggled to keep focused on any one thing and instead started taking on too many projects at once. This left most of them in bits and pieces, and none of them anywhere near completed. Ideas are fine but at some point they have to become material. I was also feeling lazy and lethargic as opposed to relaxed. That is the best I could hope for and was quite detrimental. I'm finding it much easier to focus on single tasks and start getting stuff done. Managing my own schedule with nothing else going on isn't my strong suit I guess.
Now that winter is around the corner our trips around the area are decreasing and Ashes and I are becoming more sedentary. We are entering, to steal a phrase from HIMYM, "couple hibernation". That would probably be more appropriate if we had any friends to hibernate from, but nonetheless we're sitting around enjoying our cave. Marathoning TV shows has become something of a habit around here these days. Now that the weathers colder we have to find our relaxation indoors. Winter is right around the corner and it's time to hunker down.
We've actually got a pretty sweet set up in our two basement rooms. It isn't the most glamorous place to live, and certainly I wish we lived some place better. At this point in my life I thought I'd be doing better. But we certainly are comfortable and that's what matters. It's time to hibernate and our basement cave isn't such a bad place to do it.
It's not hard to find time to really enjoy downtime now that I'm working again. I forgot how much work, any work, took out of you. It's a great feeling to have your personal time after spending so long doing a monotonous job. Work is a draining experience, even if all you're doing is performing my simple duties. I wonder if it's different when you enjoy your job? I'll figure that out one day. For now though I'm finding myself coveting the down time between my working hours. I still have many, many free hours and days a week but somehow it's different than before.
Tonight, for example, I got into my fantastic grey robe and put on some DuckTales. This was absolutely divine. Simple, sure. Fulfilling, definitely. Throw some coffee into the mix, maybe some internet time and some quality time with Ashes and that's a day well wasted. Am I finding it harder to be productive? A little bit, but my mind is actually feeling a bit more focused. And relaxed. That's important to me at this point since I work much better when I'm relaxed and focused. After this holiday season is over I might be able to use that to get something done in terms of my life. For now I'm going to stick with coffee, the robe and some quality entertainment.
While unemployed it was nothing but "free" time. That was actually a very, very bad thing. My mind was all over the place while I was unemployed. I struggled to keep focused on any one thing and instead started taking on too many projects at once. This left most of them in bits and pieces, and none of them anywhere near completed. Ideas are fine but at some point they have to become material. I was also feeling lazy and lethargic as opposed to relaxed. That is the best I could hope for and was quite detrimental. I'm finding it much easier to focus on single tasks and start getting stuff done. Managing my own schedule with nothing else going on isn't my strong suit I guess.
Now that winter is around the corner our trips around the area are decreasing and Ashes and I are becoming more sedentary. We are entering, to steal a phrase from HIMYM, "couple hibernation". That would probably be more appropriate if we had any friends to hibernate from, but nonetheless we're sitting around enjoying our cave. Marathoning TV shows has become something of a habit around here these days. Now that the weathers colder we have to find our relaxation indoors. Winter is right around the corner and it's time to hunker down.
We've actually got a pretty sweet set up in our two basement rooms. It isn't the most glamorous place to live, and certainly I wish we lived some place better. At this point in my life I thought I'd be doing better. But we certainly are comfortable and that's what matters. It's time to hibernate and our basement cave isn't such a bad place to do it.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The Fable Continues
I've been absent from the blog for about a week now due to one word and one number, Fable 3. I bought the game after (or slightly before) getting my first paycheck at my new job. Always have to blow through the first one y'know. This game has taken up a great deal of my time as I tried to beat it as quickly as possible so that I could turnaround and sell it for maximum profit. Hey, I'm on a budget here.
Just because I'm rushing through the game doesn't mean I'm not thoroughly enjoying what it has to offer. It also helps that the Fable games aren't the deepest available and all of the features can be enjoyed in short order. This was by far the best game in the series but still fell short of being great. It's a good game, certainly, but it leaves a lot on the table and feels very rushed. Now that I've beaten the game I feel I can comment freely on everything in the game. Usually Peter Molyneux hypes his games to a degree that can never end in satisfaction, as I've covered elsewhere. This time he kept his mouth shut which worked in his favor since there weren't any major disappointments in Fable 3. Everything that was promised was delivered. Some of the features in the game, like the much talked about "kingship" phase, were lacking in depth but were still nice.
Fable 3 is a very simplified version of it's predecessor. It takes the main technical parts from Fable 2 and makes them foolproof. The combat, the leveling up orbs, and expressions have become almost automatic in their function. It helped streamline the gameplay but at the same time it took a bit of the actual "gaming" out of Fable. The combat retains the melee, ranged and magic focus and adds flourishes which are visually cool. The pause menu is probably the biggest improvement. Pressing start puts your character into a "sanctuary" that acts as homebase. It give you access to weapons, clothing, stats, multiplayer and the map. While Fable 2 had one of the worst menu systems I've ever encountered, Fable 3 has replaced it with something entirely unique and functional. It works with nearly no loading time either, so you press start in the middle of combat it'll drop you into the sanctuary in the flash of a second. This is Fable's strongest feature by far and it also includes your very own butler voiced by John Cleese. The butler is never annoying and often quite hilarious. This feature works so well that it boosts the overall experience by volumes.
As much as the new menu system does to improve the system there is a lot of ground to be made up on weaker aspects of this game. Interactions with townspeople feel as hollow as ever and since the option to choose your expressions is limited. You are presented with one option at a time which can lead to unintended interactions, though it boils down to nice, mean and silly. Boring more like. Marriage and family raising are still in the game and still have as little impact as ever. The dog sidekick makes a return, but it seems with his brain removed. In this adventure it's a brainless mutt that constantly barks only to get stuck instead of leading you to treasure. These little things really add up to take a toll on Fable 3.
Probably the biggest disappointment in this game is the pacing. In the beginning as you build up your army to try and overthrow the corrupt King Logan there is a great flow. A variety of missions see your main character collect allies from all over the kingdom. Playing the revolutionary sneaking around and cutting deals with all the people harmed by the king is fun and draws you into the game world. This all culminates in a fantastic showdown in the capital city that ends with you taking the crown. And that's when the game goes to shit. The much-hyped "kingship" mode follows your conquest and feels completely tacked on. In a series of days you make rulings on promises you've made while trying to maintain a treasury in preparation for an invasion. The story goes out the window and you are simply presented with "good" choices and "bad" choices with little black and white. You certainly have to internalize the story at this point as the game mechanics just become about budget balancing. In fact one of your worst enemies who attempted to kill you earlier in the game and was a key figure in the corrupt regime becomes a major advisor. There isn't even an option to turn him down! You choose the fate of the king, but not this sniveling industrialist! The game rushes you through this phase anyway and the endgame comes without much warning, without a "this shits about to happen" message. Nope, you go to bed after ruling on one of your promises and then it's "uhhh, they're invading right now!" Very rough stuff at the end of the game.
Despite the problems Fable 3 is a fun, easy game. It's not for everyone and it was certainly dumbed down to appeal to more of the casual crowd, but it is an enjoyable experience. I've beaten it once and I hope to get one more quick play in before I sell it. This was worth playing as I'm a sorta-fan of the series, or at least the ambitions of the series.
It's in the past though and I expect to have my time returned to me so you can expect more posts in the coming week. I intend to re-enter a productive state and try to get my life... y'know... on track.
Just because I'm rushing through the game doesn't mean I'm not thoroughly enjoying what it has to offer. It also helps that the Fable games aren't the deepest available and all of the features can be enjoyed in short order. This was by far the best game in the series but still fell short of being great. It's a good game, certainly, but it leaves a lot on the table and feels very rushed. Now that I've beaten the game I feel I can comment freely on everything in the game. Usually Peter Molyneux hypes his games to a degree that can never end in satisfaction, as I've covered elsewhere. This time he kept his mouth shut which worked in his favor since there weren't any major disappointments in Fable 3. Everything that was promised was delivered. Some of the features in the game, like the much talked about "kingship" phase, were lacking in depth but were still nice.Fable 3 is a very simplified version of it's predecessor. It takes the main technical parts from Fable 2 and makes them foolproof. The combat, the leveling up orbs, and expressions have become almost automatic in their function. It helped streamline the gameplay but at the same time it took a bit of the actual "gaming" out of Fable. The combat retains the melee, ranged and magic focus and adds flourishes which are visually cool. The pause menu is probably the biggest improvement. Pressing start puts your character into a "sanctuary" that acts as homebase. It give you access to weapons, clothing, stats, multiplayer and the map. While Fable 2 had one of the worst menu systems I've ever encountered, Fable 3 has replaced it with something entirely unique and functional. It works with nearly no loading time either, so you press start in the middle of combat it'll drop you into the sanctuary in the flash of a second. This is Fable's strongest feature by far and it also includes your very own butler voiced by John Cleese. The butler is never annoying and often quite hilarious. This feature works so well that it boosts the overall experience by volumes.
As much as the new menu system does to improve the system there is a lot of ground to be made up on weaker aspects of this game. Interactions with townspeople feel as hollow as ever and since the option to choose your expressions is limited. You are presented with one option at a time which can lead to unintended interactions, though it boils down to nice, mean and silly. Boring more like. Marriage and family raising are still in the game and still have as little impact as ever. The dog sidekick makes a return, but it seems with his brain removed. In this adventure it's a brainless mutt that constantly barks only to get stuck instead of leading you to treasure. These little things really add up to take a toll on Fable 3.
Probably the biggest disappointment in this game is the pacing. In the beginning as you build up your army to try and overthrow the corrupt King Logan there is a great flow. A variety of missions see your main character collect allies from all over the kingdom. Playing the revolutionary sneaking around and cutting deals with all the people harmed by the king is fun and draws you into the game world. This all culminates in a fantastic showdown in the capital city that ends with you taking the crown. And that's when the game goes to shit. The much-hyped "kingship" mode follows your conquest and feels completely tacked on. In a series of days you make rulings on promises you've made while trying to maintain a treasury in preparation for an invasion. The story goes out the window and you are simply presented with "good" choices and "bad" choices with little black and white. You certainly have to internalize the story at this point as the game mechanics just become about budget balancing. In fact one of your worst enemies who attempted to kill you earlier in the game and was a key figure in the corrupt regime becomes a major advisor. There isn't even an option to turn him down! You choose the fate of the king, but not this sniveling industrialist! The game rushes you through this phase anyway and the endgame comes without much warning, without a "this shits about to happen" message. Nope, you go to bed after ruling on one of your promises and then it's "uhhh, they're invading right now!" Very rough stuff at the end of the game.
Despite the problems Fable 3 is a fun, easy game. It's not for everyone and it was certainly dumbed down to appeal to more of the casual crowd, but it is an enjoyable experience. I've beaten it once and I hope to get one more quick play in before I sell it. This was worth playing as I'm a sorta-fan of the series, or at least the ambitions of the series.
It's in the past though and I expect to have my time returned to me so you can expect more posts in the coming week. I intend to re-enter a productive state and try to get my life... y'know... on track.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Minor Personal Project
A few days ago I started a small personal project that will really only have relevance to myself, and only in the future. I started taking a single picture a day on my camera phone. The quality is low and the idea is hardly original but since I'm doing it for myself I'm likely to keep it up.
False Starts
I have failed a few attempts at "Project365" both on this blog and on Twitter. I think the reason for that is I was doing it to try and keep up with some other persons idea. Participating in "Project365" just didn't feel like it was mine. I felt like there were standards I had to live up to. The idea never held my interest very long and I always quit. My ideas are important to me and if I was just doing something massive and bandwagon-y like Project365 my heart wouldn't be in it. That platform worked for other people just fine and produced fantastic results for the creative types. I just never got caught up in the frenzy.
That was a particular blog-centric version of the daily picture idea. Others have been more successful in different ways. Several people created videos using pictures taken of themselves over the course of several years. My favorite video was from a man who walked across China for a year and created a great video made from pictures he took of himself daily.
The Longest Way 1.0 - one year walk/beard grow time lapse from Christoph Rehage on Vimeo.
Plan of Action
So far my project is nothing so grand. I've been doing it for about a month and my pictures have been of the cats, Ashes and myself. That works for me though. It's my life at the moment, just the residents of my small basement apartment. The best part about this project is I don't have any standards set and no plans for it to go anywhere. In fact I doubt anyone will ever see these pictures. I've never been a photogenic person which meant not many pictures exist of me over the years. I'm changing that now. I'll watch my life evolve from... this, to something really great.
Motivation and Inspiration
I was motivated into doing this by the Polaroid chronicle of one man's life from 1979-1997. After his death the Polaroids were uploaded to the internet and left there for others to come across. If you haven't seen this website I would advise a look since it's pretty incredible, Photographs of That Day. I found the story so fascinating that I started taking pictures myself. I've been using my cell phone and will routinely try to archive the photos. I'm about a month in at this point. Cell phone pictures don't have quite the impact as Polaroids but it's the best way for me to make certain I'll do it daily. For me.
False Starts
I have failed a few attempts at "Project365" both on this blog and on Twitter. I think the reason for that is I was doing it to try and keep up with some other persons idea. Participating in "Project365" just didn't feel like it was mine. I felt like there were standards I had to live up to. The idea never held my interest very long and I always quit. My ideas are important to me and if I was just doing something massive and bandwagon-y like Project365 my heart wouldn't be in it. That platform worked for other people just fine and produced fantastic results for the creative types. I just never got caught up in the frenzy.
That was a particular blog-centric version of the daily picture idea. Others have been more successful in different ways. Several people created videos using pictures taken of themselves over the course of several years. My favorite video was from a man who walked across China for a year and created a great video made from pictures he took of himself daily.
The Longest Way 1.0 - one year walk/beard grow time lapse from Christoph Rehage on Vimeo.
Plan of Action
So far my project is nothing so grand. I've been doing it for about a month and my pictures have been of the cats, Ashes and myself. That works for me though. It's my life at the moment, just the residents of my small basement apartment. The best part about this project is I don't have any standards set and no plans for it to go anywhere. In fact I doubt anyone will ever see these pictures. I've never been a photogenic person which meant not many pictures exist of me over the years. I'm changing that now. I'll watch my life evolve from... this, to something really great.
Motivation and Inspiration
I was motivated into doing this by the Polaroid chronicle of one man's life from 1979-1997. After his death the Polaroids were uploaded to the internet and left there for others to come across. If you haven't seen this website I would advise a look since it's pretty incredible, Photographs of That Day. I found the story so fascinating that I started taking pictures myself. I've been using my cell phone and will routinely try to archive the photos. I'm about a month in at this point. Cell phone pictures don't have quite the impact as Polaroids but it's the best way for me to make certain I'll do it daily. For me.
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