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Sunday, September 27, 2009

Green Eyed Ho-Slut ($$$)

I chased a beaver with a stick because he was attacking a tree with the spirit of my favorite French satirist, Jean Barbier d'Aucour (whose body was flown here tied to three giant hawks).

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudez, I no can focus! I was going to write something here but then I was sidetracked by a squirrel with his cheeks puffed out. Either he ate something he was allergic to or else he was preparing for winter. Usually squirrels are incredibly lazy and make the chipmunks do all the work only to mug them later. This one was being "industrious" I suppose.

Baby, you can't taste racism.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Wait... what?

So... wait... I've got a blog? OH YEAH! I do have a blog...

Or I did. No I definitely do. It's this one right here. I was doing this thing... pictures or something? Maybe it was achievements. I'm not quite sure. Either way they both seem like the were failures. Or drunken gargled memories. Like last Friday night which I can only remember as a fleeting series of images. There was a pig, some Italians, a Croatian mechanic, several redheads... or maybe those were camels... I woke up with three large cuts on my arm and a rabbit head necklace around my neck.

So for the record. Achievement blog, FAIL. 365 pics, FAIL. I just wanted to be like those coolios that made those "pic a day for 10 years" videos. Or the guy that took a picture a day while he walked across China. His video was epic and clever, and made me uber-jealous of his escapades. How is it possible to just uproot and spend time travelling without a care in the world beyond how am I going to get from point A-to-B?!?! If somebody could tell me it would be capitol. South Korea/Japan in a year will have to do. When I'm over there I'll take a jillion pictures a day as well as record the entire journey on 500,000 hours of video.

Homer: Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

12/365

Outside at work. It was raining for like one minute. Not fair!

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Monday, September 14, 2009

11

Cat. Ashes is all depressing and anti-internets. Shes feeling the crunch of school.

What Did You Learn, Fool

Here's the premise: random Wikipedia pop knowledge. Here's the rules: go to Wikipedia, hit random article and write down what you get. Read the article, write something you learned. Do this ten times.

GO!
GO!
Power... rangers...
Y'know the yellow ranger is dead? She died like a week before 9/11/01. The green ranger, Tommy, he's in MMA and kickboxing now. Weird right? I think the rest turned to prostitution or meth. I think I saw the pink ranger in something a few years ago...

WIKI00000TIME

1. Historic Centre of Lima - Peruvians are all about balconies, or at least they were in colonial times. I think I'd like to go here.

2. Microsternus elongatulus - Is beetle...

3. Yeovil Junction railway station - One of two inconvenient stations serving Yeovil Town. Annually sees 200,000 passengers. I like Wiki-ing trains and mass transit. Mass transit is awesome.

4. Aechmea fasciata - More commonly known as the Silver Vase or Urn-Pot, it is a flower native to Brazil. Es bonita!

5. Wheatland Athletic Association - A youth athletic program operating out of Naperville and Aurora in Illinois. Providing the boredom of T-ball to unskilled porky midwestern children for 29 years.

6. Maria Josepha of Saxony - Royalty, another of my favorite Wikipedia topics. This particular lass was of House Wettin, daughter of Prince Maximilian of Saxony. Married a Spanish king, but died young and childless like so many of the time.

7. The Soundtrack To Your Silent Movie - Debut album by Ida. Their genre is listed as "Alternative" which is a completely generic catch-all that gives no hint as to what it will sound like. The only plus is one of the band members is named Sasquatch!

8. Vancouver Forum - An ice hockey arena that once hosted the Vancouver Canucks. Not much information in this article as it's a stub.

9. Turtle graphics - A method in computer graphics for creating vector graphics. It starts going on about numbers, and algorithms, and other wretched mathematical terms. Rather a bore to read.

10. Robert Barry (fighter) - MMA fighter for Cage Rage (hey that's where the Green Ranger fought!). Record of 12-9, including a win over an aged Ken Shamrock in 2008. Oh ShamSham, get out of the ring! Take indy wrestling gigs if you must, but stop losing to no names like Robert freggin Barry.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

10/365

Lemur lemur lmenur! Went to the zoo and fell in love with a lemur. And then this tiger stared me down! He looked through me. These things are magic!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

7/365

Ashes says she looks unhealthy and near death. Shes attempting to convince everyone she has swine flu to induce panic.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

5

I was champion of the round! Then I crashed out horribly and quit.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

One Little, Two Little...

Being an person of the lazy persuasion I can't arse myself to write those big blocks of text that the internets loves so much. No, I can only find the gumption to do lists. Or pictures. Or lists of pictures. That seems to be the gold standard around You've Got Green on You lately. No slick, hip theme. No meaningful posts about actual issues or events. Lists. Granted I want to be writing those big blocks of text, which I do oh so deliciously well. It's just that I'm busy being inspired by the world! I've got so much inspiration I've gotta pound a rainbow coloured crap out every morning.

UH OH! This is becoming a big block of text! What dastard tricked me into being ironic!

I refuse to make a block.

Just lines like this!

Better plop down a list quick!

RATING (but not reviewing) EVERY 360 GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED:
***** FIVE STAR TIER *****
Fallout 3
Grand Theft Auto IV
Lost Odyssey
BioShock

**** FOUR STAR TIER ****
Prototype
Rock Band 2
Rock Band
PES 2008
Saints Row 2
Overlord
Dead Rising
Assassin's Creed
Mass Effect
Gears of War
Oblivion

*** THREE STAR TIER ***
Dynasty Warriors 6 Empires
WWE Legends of Wrestlemania
Fable II
Halo 3
WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2009
UNO
FIFA 08
NHL 08
Samurai Warriors II Empires
Too Human
Infinite Undiscovery
Warriors Orochi
Worms
All Pro Football 2K8
Beautiful Katamari
Bladestorm
Bully: Scholarship Edition
Saints Row
Crackdown
Gun
Marvel Ultimate Alliance

** TWO STAR TIER **
Mercenaries II
The Simpsons Game
Football Manager 2007 (Just the console version, PC versions are GODS)
The Last Remnant
LEGO Indiana Jones
2006 Fifa World Cup
Bankshot Billiards
WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2008
Cabela's Safari
Lost Planet
TMNT
Tenchu Z
EA Sports Fight Night 3
Hexic HD

* CRAP TIER *
Scene It: Lights, Camera, Action
Blitz: The League II
TNA iMpact
Live Score Tracker (I got achievements, I guess it counts)
Dynasty Warriors Gundam
Madden NFL 06
Aegis Wing

&@%# worse than crap tier &@%$
Dash of Destruction
Karaoke Revolution: American Idol Encore
Yaris


The only reason that I'm able to rank the games like this is because the profile system keeps track of what games you've played. Y'know, for achievements and the like. I would love to be able to do this for the PS2 and PS1... and hell every system really, but I know there would be stuff I'd overlook. Stuff that was so obscure or that completely slipped my mind. Hopefully all future consoles will have as deep a stat and profile system as found on the 360

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Friday, September 4, 2009

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Posting of Irrelevant

I don't like blogging about my life in particular. In general, oh yes. In particular, fuck no. I leave that sort of blogging to Ashes. She's so good at talking about herself. I'm better at the non-specific, random posts. And dressing cats up like gladiators to perform mock combat. And creating elaborate fantasy worlds while on insane drug freakouts. And surviving the apocalypse. And writing threatening letters to international organizations.
Yet here's some little bit about me. Just how does one "Lord Busaiku, King of the Rat-Weasels" spend a day off? Well... more like wastes a day off. Basically the whole thing was spent moving. Yet not a lick of writing. Nope... except for this. And this. And this...

A Day Off - Journey of the Enchanted Tusk
Tuesday 4:00 - Get out of work. Drive my brand spanking new (7 years old) car home.
4:30 - Hassle my nephew and tell him lies which he half believes.
4:50 - Power nap
5:20 - Clear out my entertainment center and bookshelf, pack away books, etc
5:30 - Carry said furniture down the stairs, fumble with it, load it on brother's truck
6ish - Arrive at Ashes apartment with brother and nephew in tow, unload furniture
6-7 - Arrange furniture, clean, and start setting up my stuff
8 - Bring two giant loads of change to CoinStar. Profit - $77
8:30 - Head to Olive Garden for apartment warming meal
9 - Rush home to unload meal from stomach into toilet
10:30 - Crash due to exhaustion, that's right I went to friggen bed at friggen 10:30 on my day off!
Wednesday 9:00 - Wake up, drink a red tea, pet cat on head, get swiped at, hit cat on head
9:30 - Watch 3:10 to Yuma which is quite a decent movie
11:30 - Install Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 on computer
12 - Ashes comes home from school with 'dope cash money yo' (her words I swear!)
12:20 - Head out
12:45 - Cash her Check
1:00 - Return home, she runs off to buy books, I sit on my ass doing nothing (I'm so useful!)
1:20 - She gets back, spent too much on book, runs back to book store
1:35 - Picks me up and we head back to the Bangor area for shopping, Mickey D's first
1:50 - Shopping at Shaw's
2:50 - Go to my (old) house to pick up my television and surround sound, taunt my nephew with sushi (he didn't know fish could be food!)
3:30 - Go to Walmart for some more shopping, Ashes buys shoes and pants and whatnot. I get LEGOs (yay mofo) and a disc with Fallout 3 expansions (Yay!).
4:10 - Stop at Dunkin' Donuts for an iced coffee (Emperor Myself) and coolatta (the chick I was with, not me).

uhhhhhh well the time is a bit messed up somewhere in there because I know for certain we got home in the 5 range... hmmm

5ish - Get home, set up television
5:30 til now - Sat on my ass being useless.

And from now until I go to sleep, far too early again, I shall do nothing. Hoo-ray...

Globally Ignored