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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Xmas Loot

It's X-Mas because the X is cooler. It's not as powerful as a Z, but better than a CH combo. Or the letter I, which is universally recognized as the weakest letter in the alphabet.

Well anyway I got more than I deserved this Xmas. I asked for very little and received very much. A small list? I can provide you with that, sure.

- Assassin's Creed II
- FIFA 10
- A robe
- LEGO coffee table book (including a minifig coffee table book)
- The Thousandfold Thought by R. Scott Bakker
- Celtic FC soccer jersey
- Big Bang Theory season 2
- Border's gift card (for un-remembered amount)
- Back to the Future trilogy
- Calendar
- Coffee maker
- Toaster

Maybe other stuff. I don't remember. Really it would've just been better to get money and put it in the bank, or not get so much stuff so my parents can pay for heat this winter. I like stuff, however, and this stuff will help me waste my time instead of do anything productive. That's what the new year is for, changes to your life. We'll see, I plan on having monthly goals next year. I'll discuss that in my next poorly written, poorly thought out post.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Looking Ahead

Looking ahead... how inappropriate a topic for Christmas Day. Christmas, a day that is straight up its own ass. It's the most self important, self serving day in the calendar year. Explain myself? I most certainly will NOT. You don't deserve it, and I can't think of anything witty at the moment. One in the morning Christmas Day.

I'm supposed to be at the parents house at 9 (I think), but I'm not really in the mood to go to sleep. I'm awake, I'm restless and I'm pensive. I always get pensive these days. Y'know, when I'm not working my menial job or playing pointless 360 games. I think about what I could be doing or how I should be making an impact on the world. Then I unpause the game and get back to killing things.

I will admit that I forced Christmas this year. I made it feel like an old school Christmas of my youth. How? Chopping down the tree with The Ashes, watching dozens of old TV Christmas specials. I didn't watch the Yogi Bear one... something to do before sleep! I just didn't drown out the holiday-osity of December. So it's Christmastime in this apartment.

How impractical of a holiday season it is indeed! Knowing that the future holds an overseas escapade for me I put no foresight into what I was going to need when asking for gifts. I mean, sure, I filled some immediate needs (ice scraper, more *groan* 360 games, coffee maker) I didn't address the issues that will arise next year. What, you ask? Well here's a short list of stuff I need to make next year a real experience.

- Camcorder (Recording videos for family and friends will be a priority!)
- Laptop (Utterly, utterly necessary. I can't function without a computer. Internet is necessary for communication and information. As well as for American television. And blogging. And, well, everything.)
- Luggage (Though I can pick this up on the cheap I'm sure)
- Miniature plane (For the cats to fly over on, since they don't like commercial flights)

The first two being the most important, obviously. What I won't need is a new camera. I'll just use Ashes' for pictures. It's moving on to something relevant. If I can't make it happen over here, I know that an exciting life awaits me over there. Somehow the idea that I'm going to be living overseas just makes me feel more... I don't know. It makes me feel better about myself.

I think most important is what I'm not bringing over. Most notably, my gaming systems and my desktop computer. These are two things that I live by in my current life. Cutting these out entirely will be a positive trend. Not gaming for a year? For a gamer it's only possible in a situation like the one I'm entering. I won't live in front of a screen. If I get a laptop it won't be for gaming. If I'm on the computer it will be doing something... with a point.

It's really not that far away. Happy fun crazy land times!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

New Directions

While this blog post may share a name with the show choir group from the amazing Fox show Glee, it is thematically quite different I assure you. In this post I come to a final conclusion. I find the answer that I've been seeking since starting this blog. A blog which in the past I have described as pointless and a waste of time. Finally I've found my focus and reason for this blog! I know why You've Got Green On You!

The blog is... FOR ME! It's not for anybody else. It exists as a way for myself to simply put words on a screen and hit "publish". That's the only reason. Whether it's a list of things I like, or a rambling rant about some form of entertainment or another it's all targeted at a specific audience.

ME.

So I'm just going to keep writing posts on an erratic schedule and follow no central theme. If I have decent post, hey good for me. If, and this would be more common, my posts are nonsensical Pilkingtonian drivel then who the fuck cares. I've so far contributed nothing of any value, either literary or philosophically or even fucking personally. So who cares?

Ashes is probably the only other reader here and that's fine by me. Keep on reading love. It's never going to be anything interesting, but I'm going to keep it up. Now that I've concluded that it's a blog with no focus, I'm going to try less but post more. Does that make sense? If it doesn't then to hell with you.

I'm watching Mike Birbiglia do a stand up routine right now and he's talking about blogging. Everyone has a blog, he says, and he's quite right. So this is just a journal of my random shit, on the internet for the world to read. They won't. And quite well they shouldn't.

LATERS.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Friday, December 11, 2009

TyWu

"Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?"

- Homer Simpson

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Top Ten RPGs of the Last Five Years

Title is self explanatory you douches.

10. Devil Survivor

Probably my favorite tactical RPG since Final Fantasy Tactics. Multiple paths, good music and the classic MegaTen concept of competing ideologies as opposed to good vs evil. Fun game with great replayability.

9. Mother 3

This masterpiece of a game was never even released in English. That didn't stop a fiercely devoted fan-base from translating the game and distributing the rom. It's a shame that Nintendo (or whoever) decided not to release this game in the United States. It's more than a shame, it's a ridiculously stupid move. Regardless, this game stands as Itoi's magnum opus.

8. Mass Effect

One of the first and finest examples of action RPGS. Not hack and slash action, but psuedo-shooter RPG. Bioware combined their brilliant flair for dialogue with a third-person shooter combat scheme to create one of 2007's best games. There was also a somewhat weak planet exploration feature that slowed the game somewhat. Aside from the planet exporation, the game was top notch.

7. Final Fantasy XII

It's Final friggen Fantasy people. While not quite as epic as X, the twelfth installment of the series stood as a solid entry into the series. The combat mechanic was completely reworked and saw the elimination of random battles for the first time in an FF game. Square borrowed the system put forth in the Knights of the Old Republic games and tweaking it to perfection. A decent, if unfocused, story and a beautiful world engrossed the player.

6. Lost Odyssey

I think this game went under the radar for most people. That's truly tragic because this game is really good. The storyline focuses on the lives of several immortals and their struggle against one of their compatriots. The game is very reminiscent of Final Fantasy X, both visually and in overall feel of the game. For the most part it is a traditional role playing game, random battles and leveling up. The best feature about this game is the visual stories detailing Kaim, the main characters, thousand year life. To say these stories are well amazing is a HUGE understatement. Tears welled up in my eyes while reading one of the stories. The sights and sounds of these stories work with the writing to create a HELL of an experience. If the rest of the game were as well written as these tales this game might have been number one.

5. Fallout 3

Some people will say this game is just derivative of Oblivion, that it's just that game with guns. SO. FUCKING. WHAT. That doesn't mean it's bad. In fact the game works much more effectively than Oblivion. It has an amazing scale, achieving both the emptiness and danger one might expect from a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Plenty is available to be done in the Capital Wasteland, hours upon hours of entertainment.

4. Dragon Age: Origins

This is my 2009 game of the year by a huge margin. I don't even know where to start with this game. I love the action centric combat scheme. I understand that it's a Baldur's Gate-light system, but I don't care. The characters are for the most part great. The choices aren't black and white, which means you how things play out is up to you. Prepare for some unexpected results to your choices, for instance party members turning against you and attempting to kill you. The idea of playing through multiple origin stories may be gimmicky, but it makes you feel much more drawn into the land of Ferelden. Characters from each origin story pepper the game, meaning you will always encounter somebody from your past in the course of a playthrough. I LOVE THIS GAME.

3. Suikoden V

This series is one of my favorite of all time. I remember picking up Suikoden I way back when it came out in the 90s. Since then I've been addicted to Suikoden. The games blend eastern and western lore in a delightful blend of cultures. The fifth incarnation proves to be the best since Suikoden II. The series is famed for it's 108 recruitable party members, and this game doesn't disappoint. Many of the games characters are easy to get attached to for a variety of reasons, either design or personality. The most oddly appealing warrior from the second game, Georg Prime, returns as a featured player in the events of this game. I went marathon on this treasure when I got it and completed in a week back when it came out, which I rarely do with games.

2. The World Ends With You

AWESOME. Have posted previously about this so I'll keep is short. It's all about the style, the tone, the music... it's amazing. The World Ends With You is so good you feel hip playing it, no matter that you are dangerously uncool.

1. Persona 4

Let's give it up for one of the greatest RPGs, and in fact one of the greatest GAMES, of the past five years. Persona 4 has the Shin Megami Tensei pedigree attached to its name which it easily lives up to. Anything I've said about actually feeling something for the characters is tripled for this game. You end up feeling like one of the gang, and when you finally finish this experience you are sad that it's over. The dungeon crawling aspect of RPGs is perfected here. The idea of a friendship/dating simulator would seem silly in any other game, but it's completely natural in P4. The murder mystery storyline is unique and engrossing. The enemies and bosses fit the situations. Persona 4 is just wonderful to play and really is more of an experience than a game.

Honorable Mentions - Jade Empire, Kingdom Hearts II, Suikoden Tierkreis

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Addicted to Rot

There are these drinks out there called "energy drinks". I don't know if you've ever heard of them... you might be from the Mongolian Steppe or something. Though I imagine even the corner convenience yurt has some Red Bull.

Well ever since tasting my first one back in 2007 I've been addicted. Well, I tried one back in 2006 when I was in college. I got a Full Throttle from a vending machine not knowing what it was at all. I drank it and thought decent, but it didn't capture my attention. After I started working at my current job I really got addicted. A coworker at the time was spending $70 a week on Monster, and it was being consumed by everyone else. So I gave it a shot. Not a week has gone by without having at least one. I've gone through several phases. Monster was my first and longest affair, both the standard and the M-80 flavors. After that I started branching out into all manner of these caffeinated potations. Rockstar, Red Bull, Amp (which I could get for 50 cents at the store), Full Throttle. For a while I was drinking coffee flavored energy drinks exclusively.

By far the one drink that stood out amongst the rest was Blue Demon. It was a flavor introduced by Full Throttle that was built on it's blue agave ingredient. For months it was the single can that on which I sought to spend my two dollars. It's flavor was something like a cross between berry juice and Mountain Dew. That may sound like a vomit-filled night for most people but for me it was pure orgasmic awesomeness. To make things even crazier, it was (allegedly) named after NWA Champion Blue Demon Jr. Sadly it seems to have been phased out as I can no longer find it around the Bangor area. There's a single vending machine, apparently, in the Bangor Mall that still carries the drink. Though I imagine it's only until they run out and it won't be replenished. So here's to my deceased friend, Blue Demon energy.

I think I'm addicted... I need to phase these grossly unhealthy drinks out of my diet. Baby steps. I'm definitely consuming fewer cans. Helps my health and my wallet to stop drinking these ghastly cans of gut rot. I used to drink at least one a day, sometimes two. Now I think I'm down to one a week. With any luck I can cut it the habit entirely.

That's what's going down... in my town.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

NAMINGWAY!

"When all is said and done, it's what's inside that truly matters. Still, a catchy name never hurt."
—Namingway

He was a rabbit-being... I never effing knew that the re-naming master of Final Fantasy II/IV was a rabbit. I always thought that he was a fat guy wearing a turban, but now that the game has been updated and redone in several forms I've learned differently.

Well this distracts me from my main point. Actually I've never gotten to my point. Earlier The Ashes stumbled on a "Yahoo Answers" post in which people listed their favorite names for each letter. I got to thinking "These people are all retarded. I can do better than this!" so that's what I've decided to do. It's NAME time ho-bags.

Oh, and how annoying is clicking on a link on the front page of Yahoo only to have it lead you to a Yahoo Answers post. Or a video. I want to READ my news. Which is why I don't go to Yahoo anymore for anything besides my mail.

The List: (Boys first naturally, then girls)
A - Adolf, Aetheria
B - Bastard, Bitchtits
C - Cailin, Cäcilia
D - Donato, Dulanto
E - Exartixes, Eufemia
F - Fausto, Fatima
G - Gozer, Gjerahina
H - Heinrich, Heflave
I - Isildor, Iphigeneia
J - Jaromir, Jasi
K - Krunkstink, Kunoichi
L - Locke, Leofwynn
M - Mario, Michiko
N - Naoki, Norah
O - Orlandu, One-eye
P - Paolo, Ponyo
Q - Queresma, Quinnifer
R - Ranulf, Renardina
S - Satoshi/Silas, Saeburg
T - Tidus, Tiesto
U - Uliuli, Uncle
V - Vincenzo, Valencia
W - Wolfsbane, Wulffgar
X - Xylophone, X-Ray
Y- Yannick, Yubaba
Z - Zinedine, Zenobia

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Fifth of Deciembre

- Woke up at 5, having slept a combined total of 1 hour(s).
- Drove to work, consuming an iced coffee and listening to Ricky Gervais.
- Arrived at work and spent four hours selling like a BAJILLION Wii consoles.
- Lunch time, two tacos and some more Ricky Gervais podcasts.
- Back to work to sell a BAJILLION more effing Wii pieces of shit.
- Drive home, again more podcasts, grabbed an Amp on the way out.
- Arrived home and hopped on my computer to surf... not nearly as tubular as it sounds.
- Ashes gets home, complains about her mental that she has to watch.
- Nap time. Two hours of sleepies.
- Wake up, Ashes still sleeping. Go and play some Smackdown vs Raw 2010. Beat Mickie James' storyline.
- Purchase Microsoft points and buy Warden's Keep DLC for Dragon Age.
- Play Dragon Age with my rogue and beat Warden's Keep.
- Put My Boys on the televisor.
- Ashes woke up.
- SNOOOOOOOOWWWWWW
- Blogged.
- Mused about podcasts, comedy writing, television production, writing novels, uhhhhhh... video game production... let's see... traveling... all the stuff I should be doing.
- Need to make a list.

Friday, December 4, 2009

I'm Bad at Surprises

I just am.

What'd you want, a freggin novel?

I'm just bad at surprises. When I actually get a good idea for ONCE, I'm all like guess what I'm getting yo.

I bombed this year my gentle readernauts. Damn you Ashes!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

My Trail of Terror

I've been a lot of places in my life. Well, not a lot, but a decent amount of places. All over the world... well the east coast of the United States and the British Isles anyway. I've decided to examine the cities and areas I've been to and evaluate whether or not I would return. As I'm only getting started in life I'm sure this list will continue to grow. It's been a bit of a slow year in 2009. I did a limited amount of traveling due to my funding being tied I'm in big money purchases, such as a car. Next year will be the start of an incredible journey as The Ashes and I move to South Korea. Our Asian adventure begins in 2010. For now I'm going to briefly review places I've been and whether I'd fancy a return.

Boston
The first major city I ever went to and the only one that holds any childhood nostalgia. It's a great northeastern US city, a city that sets the mentality for the whole New England region. All my favorite sports teams are situated nearby. It's bean town baby. Number one.
Back - Yes

New York City
I drove through here once and flew over it once. A poorly planned road trip took us around the city, over the George Washington bridge and into destructive traffic. What do I remember? This place SMELLS AWFUL!
Back - No thanks

Hartford
Quite unimpressive. Didn't spend much time there, so I don't remember much about the city. I can't say that there's anything that would draw me there. It's someplace to drive through, not a destination.
Back - Nope

Quebec City
An absolute gem of a city. It's almost closer to Bangor than any other city. It's a beautiful area. It's a foreign city, a strange land, but right next door. It's multilingual even though French dominates. Then there's the walled city, oh the walled city. The old city is magnificent. It is the only North American walled city I've ever visited.
Back - Yup

Montreal
This place is pretty alive. It's the cultural center of French Canada. Though I've heard that it used to be Canada's premiere city I understand it's lost that distinction to Toronto. Even so, it's a really cool place. There's a hip culture there, distinct neighborhoods. Not to mention old style architecture and an amazing skyline.
Back - Yes

Philadelphia
It's a pretty cool city and I feel like I only managed to see a little bit of what it has to offer. I'd go there again only to see what it really has to offer.
Back - Yeah

Baltimore
Meh
Back - no

Washington DC
I only spent a single day there and never got a chance to get out and look at all the tacky monuments that every kid wants to see. Really the only thing I'd realistically want to go back for would be the Smithsonian. I like museums. Scratch that, I friggin LOVE them.
Back - Yeah, for the Smithsonian

Miami
Weeeeellll I don't know. It's a beach culture, a party city, and a port of call. That's about it. To visit relatives, yes. To check out the city? No.
Back - Maybe

Tampa
Nothing left to do there. Been there, did that.
Back - no

Nassau
The port of call I went to in the Bahamas. Poverty stricken and overly touristy. The places I went had no heart, only cheesiness to appeal to tourists. If there was a real soul to the city, I never saw it. There are other Caribbean cities to go to, however.
Back - no

London
Well no shit.
Back - Hell to the Yes

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Kapo Dong

The only thing I've learned in life,
is not to trust grey cats.

They say they're going to borrow your car,
but sell it to shady Southerners.

They say they're going to have a few friends over,
but they cram 301 people into your apartment.

They say that they've kicked their addiction to soap opera,
but are secretly stalking the most prominent daytime actors.

They say that they're going to work,
but they are really gambling your possessions at the track.

They say they're party is costume themed,
but when you show up it's fancy dress.

They say that they're dating a single woman,
but parade around with an endless stream of floozies.

They say they will bring your clothes to the laundromat,
but they sew offensive patches all over them.

They say they will mow the lawn by Sunday,
but instead they pave over it.

They say that sign language comes naturally to them,
but in reality they rob your deaf friends at knifepoint.

They say that they've purchased a mint scented handwash for you,
but they give you a bottle full of melted manure.

They say that they won't hit on your best friend,
but they have been secretly sleeping with her behind your back for years.

They say they will send out your rent check,
but they use the paper to roll homemade cigars.

...if a cat is gray, throw him away.

Globally Ignored