I went to the Folk Festival in Bangor again this year. On a unbearably hot day, again. It was the same as usual with the food and the crafts and the music and the crowds. Something to do but nothing particularly great.
I need to set up 'office hours' so that I can have a period of the day when I'm being productive. As it is I take about an hour to browse recent job postings and apply for any that I am qualified to do. That's hardly being productive in the grand scheme of things. I need some serious 'office hours' in which I devote that time to doing nothing else but work. I spend a lot of time researching how to do the work and what needs to be done, but none of the time actually hammering out some sort of finished product. That's a point against me.
The hardest part about this is being stuck in one room for most of the time. Especially the insanity yesterday with my brother burning the holy shit out of some french fries in the oven which stunk up the rest of the house. Plus he was passed out on the couch in the living room until about midday. Since I'm stranded in this house most of the time that meant that I was forced into our room, in which it's impossible to do anything productive. Somebody like me can't separate their 'fun' space from their 'functional' space. That's one of the top bulletpoints that anyone would advise, finding someplace to actually use as a work space. It's just so easy to procrastinate when you have access to your games, movies, books and the internet. That's what really killed me in college and most of my work was actually done in a computer lab on campus. It was easier in my mind to associate that space as 'work'.
So I've got to get off my lazy ass and sort this out. Writing out this blog post talking about the problem is in fact just another form of procrastination.
There weren't any jobs to apply for today... I'm getting seriously depressed about this job search. I can't even get a job in retail! Everyone says the same things 'overqualified' or 'not enough experience'. What do I do about this?!?! I don't know what to do other than keep applying and hope for the best, but after seven months I just don't know what to do. I've lost my unemployment... I can't find a job... I don't have any hope for the future at this point. I always said you have to create your own opportunities but I don't know how.
This has turned into an unemployment blog... just like so many others in this economic environment. It's become so depressing. But that's my life, y'know. I can't work up the willpower to even do the stuff that I like these days. I often find myself staring into space just worrying a lot. Not even about anything in particular. I just worry. I'm losing my mind.
Once things pick back up I'll probably start another blog since this one is hollow and depressing.
But the Folk Festival was fun at least.
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