Zombie Apocalypse Not Forthcoming

So 2011 is turning out to be the year that I've all but abandoned blogging it would seem.  I've had long stretches without posts before but not so many this close together.  Through the mists I put up a post every month or so.  That simply will not do.  I'm supposed to be a writer, damnit!  So write I shall.  Whatever the subject may be I'll just let it flow.

At the moment I should comment on the non-event that happened on Saturday.  The no-pocalypse.  I was ready for that to happen.  Knowing that I wouldn't fit the bill for what an evangelical, American Christian organization would consider "salvation-worthy" I had to be prepared for what would happen down here.  Zombies.  Even if there wasn't some manner of rapture (which there wasn't) I was at least expecting some playful mad scientist to shatter a vial or two of zombie plague in the major urban areas.  That's a reasonable expectation right?  That didn't happen either.  The day before all this hubbub the CDC released a plan for a possible Z-Day.  An official government organization has a plan for zombies!  The timing seemed right.  Certainly anyone 30 or younger already has a detailed plan for surviving a Z-Day scenario, probably a few plans.  It was kind of the CDC to give the older folks a quick how-to guide as well. 

Despite so much foreshadowing and buildup nothing happened.  The clock rolled over to a new day and I sat in my basement, cricket bat in hand, for nothing.  Zombies did not devour the earth.  While I couldn't have cared about the lack of a nutball cultists version of the rapture not transpiring the lack of a zombie invasion was more distressing.  It's odd to think of being disappointed by a lack of zombies since I would almost surely die, as would anyone who already thinks they're an expert, but that's how it goes.  No, I think life continuing in a normal manner is just fine in the end.

Seeking the apocalypse is something that some people do as a form of escapism.  Can't handle the pressures of their life so they join some sort of death cult.  Then these creeps claim to be the voice of God, or to understand secret messages in the Bible and lead the weak willed down a bad road.  False Prophets.  That's the most artistic term I've heard used.  Cult leader is the most "modern" I would say.  I'll go with false prophet since it paints a picture of these manipulative crazies as being another in a long, long line of deceptive liars.  I feel sorry for those that contributed their life savings to this effort and now see their lives in ruin.  They get to keep on living and really is that such a bad thing?

I never believed, though just before the "appointed hour" I did listen curiously.  Of course there was nothing.  And for that I'm grateful.  American evangelists are so exclusive and ready to damn the whole world for not being them that they feel the apocalypse is always just around the corner.  They can have that life of constant fear and judgment.  Me, I'll take the life with a cricket bat in one hand and the Zombie Survival Guide in the other.  I'm ready you undead bastards.