I haven't watched WWE programming on a regular basis in maybe 4-5 years. Back when it was starting to get really bad and the matches took a back seat. Anyway, in that time there has been some stuff that I've read about that I want to talk about briefly. So I'm going to give some small thumbs up today to the WWE. Yes, I'm going to say positive things about a company that I so despise for taking the wrestling out of wrestling.
I'm well aware that I post a little bit too often about wrestling but it was something that used to be my main hobby. I still regularly play TEW in order to book wrestling the way I want. I don't imagine there will be too many more posts about wrestling in my life since my interest, from WWE down to ROH and the indies, has completely fallen off.
So here's the pluses about the WWE in recent years.
+ CM Punk is a three time World Champion. That's right, CM Punk is a 3 time champion. He's also one of the most popular heels in the company! Gotta love that the rest of the world is in on Punk.
+ Bryan Danielson and Low Ki are in the company. Just starting at the moment but they both have a huge wave of momentum. Danielson was fired and the fans were so pissed off they hired him back in less than a month!
+ Huge focus on Rey Mysterio. I remember watching him when he was "the little Mexican jumping bean" in WCW and loving everything he did. His style brought cruiserweight wrestling in focus. The X Division wouldn't have existed without his influence. And now he's one of the big players in WWE winning two world titles in the last five years.
+ Hart Dynasty and the return of Bret Hart. I've been all about Harry Smith for years and always knew he was going to be a success, and now he's reformed the Hart Foundation with TJ Wilson no less! I've seen few of their matches but I respect their dedication to rebuilding the tag division. It'll end in the standard team split-send to different shows-don't push-fire that EVERY FUCKING TEAM goes through, but right now they're great. And BRET HART is back in the WWE in a major role. He won the US title... for some reason. Can't complain though because it has brought one of the greats back in the limelight.
+ Rebirth of ECW. This concept was GREAT... about five years ago. The show came back and it starting lagging very quickly, and the ECW Championship became a midcard title. But for a while ECW was back on top and proving to be quite exciting. Tommy Dreamer getting a push and title win, plus a title win for Chavo were both amazing moments. TNA has recently copied the One Night Stand idea and bombed, the original ONS can't be matched.
A few quick minuses
- Death of the cruiserweight division. WWE just never had respect for the little guys and the shows they could put on, and they convinced the fans that exciting wrestling wasn't worth watching. For shame
- The writers, not being wrestling fans, just don't know what to do. They often have no focus or stupid stories that everyone groans about watching. Nobody listens to the fans... well the DO, as shown by Low Ki's NXT win, but not often. It's a shame how many great wrestlers were fired because "Creative had nothing for them," and most likely refused to listen to the performers ideas. Fucking management, eh?
There we go, my last wrestling post for the near future. I've covered everything I have to say and I'm going to let all this stand as the final word.
Showing posts with label wrestling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wrestling. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Kings of Wrestling
I've been a fan of Puroresu for over seven years now. Like I've mentioned in plenty of other posts I'm hardly a fan of pro wrestling anymore since I don't have the time or interest to follow it. I do take the time to keep up to date with Japanese Puroresu.
It's simple fun without the terrible soap opera style bullshit featured in America. It's matches and feuds in the traditional sense with all the stories developing in the ring and based on skill. It's actually pro wrestling in a pure and unrefined glory. Matches are used to impress the crowd and aren't simply the filler between talking segments. Americans would find that boring, but that doesn't matter. I find it odd that US wrestling fans have always cared more about the horrible storylines than real wrestling. That's part of the reason I'm not a fan anymore.
NJPW has recently started a Youtube channel that is updated very regularly with matches, press conferences and compilation videos. This is further evidence that New Japan is the king of Puroresu since NOAH is still suffering from the death of Misawa and a lack of focus. There was a time when NOAH was making more progress in expanding to new markets but that has fallen out of focus as they try to rebuild their company. So New Japan is exciting as all hell and has come out of the early 00s MMA debacle with their heads held high.
So I'm just going to post some pictures I've found from Puroresu sources that I like for one reason or another.
Poster Boy KENTA
ULTRAMAN Tanahashi & ULTRAMAN Kanemoto
G1 Winner Kojima
Not Puroresu, but Japanese. WWE done in Final Fantasy SNES style
It's simple fun without the terrible soap opera style bullshit featured in America. It's matches and feuds in the traditional sense with all the stories developing in the ring and based on skill. It's actually pro wrestling in a pure and unrefined glory. Matches are used to impress the crowd and aren't simply the filler between talking segments. Americans would find that boring, but that doesn't matter. I find it odd that US wrestling fans have always cared more about the horrible storylines than real wrestling. That's part of the reason I'm not a fan anymore.
NJPW has recently started a Youtube channel that is updated very regularly with matches, press conferences and compilation videos. This is further evidence that New Japan is the king of Puroresu since NOAH is still suffering from the death of Misawa and a lack of focus. There was a time when NOAH was making more progress in expanding to new markets but that has fallen out of focus as they try to rebuild their company. So New Japan is exciting as all hell and has come out of the early 00s MMA debacle with their heads held high.
So I'm just going to post some pictures I've found from Puroresu sources that I like for one reason or another.
Poster Boy KENTA
ULTRAMAN Tanahashi & ULTRAMAN Kanemoto
G1 Winner Kojima
Not Puroresu, but Japanese. WWE done in Final Fantasy SNES style
Saturday, August 7, 2010
G1 Climax 2010
It’s August now which means it’s time for the biggest pro wrestling tournament of the year, the New Japan Pro Wrestling G1 Climax.
Though wrestling isn’t a form of entertainment that holds much interest for me anymore, I still follow Japanese wrestling religiously. This is one of the most exciting weeks in the Japanese wrestling calendar since new stars are made and classic matches always happen.
Since 1991 this tournament has been the high point of the summer in terms of wrestling. Even when the company had it’s disastrous flirtation with MMA in the early 2000s, the G1 was still able to be a showcase of Strong Style and the spirit of wrestling. Since one on one matchups are a bit rare in Japan and usually saved for special occasions. The G1 is one of those times where special one-off matches take place. There are always upsets every year. A top star will drop his opening match to a young lion then go on to win the rest of his matches, meaning the young lion looks strong and the star doesn’t seem any weaker. The G1 is when these New Japan stars really shine, determined to make an impression on the fans and the company in order to secure their future. Only the January 4th Tokyo Dome show can even compare to the atmosphere of the G1.
The last two years have seen upsets in the final winner. Two years ago it was the young lion Hirooki Goto, fresh from his excursion to Mexico, who went on to win the tournament. It was unprecedented for a young lion that hadn’t even made it to a secure spot on the midcard to take the prestigious G1. It turned out for the best since Goto now leads NJPW Sekigun against the heels and outsiders, alongside Hiroshi Tanahashi of course. Last year it was Togi Makabe picking up the unlikely win over Shinsuke Nakamura in the final. It had seemed to be Nakamura’s year to win. He was the ace of the company, he hadn’t won the tournament before, he had several IWGP reigns behind him, he had gone undefeated through the preliminaries and it was his time. That is what made Makabe’s win all the more important. It set up a top-level heel by dashing everyone’s hopes and expectations. Rarely does a heel win the G1 as the tournament either cements or creates a company ace. Last year it created a top villain. As Togi Makabe is the current IWGP champion and gets a huge reaction, I’d say the plan worked.
This year we have a lot of strong contenders to look at, from former champions to top outsiders. I’ll group them and discuss their prospects.
THE ACES
Hiroshi Tanahashi
He’s the face of NJPW right now and has returned from several recent injuries to be in this tournament. Not likely to get to the end but will have a strong showing that he can build off in order to get back to the top of the card after his injuries.
Hirooki Goto
His momentum is huge at the moment it seems. He won two years ago and turned that into major success. Might make the semis and might not. He’s doing well enough on his own not to need the win. It wouldn’t hurt him to win and would certainly mean a title reign by the end of the year. I just don’t think he’ll need the win to continue his success.
Shinsuke Nakamura - My pick to win the whole tournament. I think he’ll start off weak and then go undefeated all the way to the final. He’s going to make a showing for sure. The most important New Japan star that hasn’t won the G1. It’s his time. Hell it was his time last year, but that was fine as I’ve said. This time it’s Nakamura’s year to win. He’s one of the most visible stars in New Japan and that always equates to success.
THE YOUNG LIONS
Tetsuya Naito - He’s one half of the tag champions and has been more successful than young lions 10 years ago. Not likely to get higher than midtable in his group. He’ll be an impact in a few years, but won’t manage much this time.
Yujiro Takahashi - Naito’s partner will fare about the same. Probably will go bottom of the group. Don’t expect too much from this young lion just yet. Watch out down the line, though.
THE OUTSIDERS
Satoshi Kojima - Surprise inclusion this year as he makes his G1 return after just leaving AJPW. Outside wrestlers never win the tournament, wouldn’t make sense. Sometimes they make the finals and lose to make a winner look strong against other feds, but that’s it. Don’t think he’ll make the final this year. If he’s in New Japan, he’ll have to start from the middle.
Go Shiozaki - If an outsider had a chance to make the finals it would be Shiozaki. He probably won’t, though, as NOAH and New Japan aren’t really feuding. Likely he’s just their to focus on the Tanahashi-Shiozaki feud. Maybe make the finals, maybe make the semis.
THE JUNIORS
Prince Devitt - The Irish sensation is setting New Japan on fire recently. He’s one of the token juniors that made the G1, though he was a last minute replacement for Naomichi Marufuji. Like all juniors in the G1 (except Koji Kanemoto that one time) he isn’t far. Devitt IS the junior division right now so it won’t hurt him to do poorly in the heavyweight-centric division.
Wataru Inoue - I still consider him a junior. Not going to do well at all. Doesn’t have a great record against heavyweights. Filler, really. He’ll compete with Yujiro for bottom of his block.
THE FOREIGNERS
Giant Bernard - The top foreigner in New Japan since Scott Norton, even bigger than Sapp or Lesnar (Bernard is sticking around and making an impact, rather than fucking no-showing title matches). If any of the foreigners are going to get far it’s going to be Bernard. He’s never going to win the thing but he could certainly be in the finals. He has won the New Japan Cup in the past but is unlikely to win the big one. He’ll make a great impact.
Strong Man - I don’t even know who this is, and I don’t care. He’s pure filler. I’m sure they could’ve found someone better to take his spot but there it is. He’ll lose and never be seen again.
Karl Anderson - The Machine Gun is Bernard’s number 2 in the company. He’s made a name for himself by winning the tag titles with Bernard. In this tournament he might get a win or two but nothing more.
THE VETERANS
Yuji Nagata - The Blue Justice leader is always a strong contender in these tournaments. He won in 2001 I believe and has had two reigns as champion and was the ace in the early 2000s. Past his prime now for sure, but that doesn’t mean a thing when it comes to this tournament. Though recent trends in Japan have shifted towards youngsters, the tradition in the company is that the veterans are the winners. Age = strength. Simple as that. Chono won a few years ago and he wasn’t favored at all due to age. What I’m saying is that I think Nagata has a chance to win this. It could propel him towards a match with Makabe and could lead to a third IWGP reign or a solid defense for Makabe. I think he’s got a chance.
Manabu Nakanishi - Won the G1 in 2000 but never won the title until 2008 (or was it 2009?) so he has a history of success. Doesn’t have a lot of momentum right now and is getting older, but neither of those mean a thing as a G1 win could turn everything around. I’m not sure he wins it this time, but maybe he will 10 years after winning his first one. Or he could be a solid opponent and wall in the semis for one of the finalists. Whatever happens I’m sure he’ll do well.
THE VILLAINS
Togi Makabe - Last years winner and the current champion. He won’t win it because that wouldn’t make any sense. The tournament creates a challenger for the champion, so having the champ win the thing would be counterproductive. He’ll definitely look good coming out of the tournament but won’t win it. Has no chance.
Toru Yano - I’ve always liked Yano. He’s that sort of heel that is like a street thug. He has an attitude and you don’t fuck with him. He’s always scowling too. He has a permanent scowl! Sadly he’s not due to make it to the top at any point in his career. It’ll be tag reigns and midcard feuds with other stars. He’ll make the mid-table, maybe lower, this year and won’t even have a sniff of the overall win. It won’t stop him though since he doesn’t even need wins to keep up his place.
That’s it for the contenders. Check out Strong Style Symphony for daily updates on all the action. It’s the best New Japan website and the one I personally go to. I’ll be back after the tournament to talk about the winner.
BOM-BA-YE!!!!
Though wrestling isn’t a form of entertainment that holds much interest for me anymore, I still follow Japanese wrestling religiously. This is one of the most exciting weeks in the Japanese wrestling calendar since new stars are made and classic matches always happen.
Since 1991 this tournament has been the high point of the summer in terms of wrestling. Even when the company had it’s disastrous flirtation with MMA in the early 2000s, the G1 was still able to be a showcase of Strong Style and the spirit of wrestling. Since one on one matchups are a bit rare in Japan and usually saved for special occasions. The G1 is one of those times where special one-off matches take place. There are always upsets every year. A top star will drop his opening match to a young lion then go on to win the rest of his matches, meaning the young lion looks strong and the star doesn’t seem any weaker. The G1 is when these New Japan stars really shine, determined to make an impression on the fans and the company in order to secure their future. Only the January 4th Tokyo Dome show can even compare to the atmosphere of the G1.
The last two years have seen upsets in the final winner. Two years ago it was the young lion Hirooki Goto, fresh from his excursion to Mexico, who went on to win the tournament. It was unprecedented for a young lion that hadn’t even made it to a secure spot on the midcard to take the prestigious G1. It turned out for the best since Goto now leads NJPW Sekigun against the heels and outsiders, alongside Hiroshi Tanahashi of course. Last year it was Togi Makabe picking up the unlikely win over Shinsuke Nakamura in the final. It had seemed to be Nakamura’s year to win. He was the ace of the company, he hadn’t won the tournament before, he had several IWGP reigns behind him, he had gone undefeated through the preliminaries and it was his time. That is what made Makabe’s win all the more important. It set up a top-level heel by dashing everyone’s hopes and expectations. Rarely does a heel win the G1 as the tournament either cements or creates a company ace. Last year it created a top villain. As Togi Makabe is the current IWGP champion and gets a huge reaction, I’d say the plan worked.
This year we have a lot of strong contenders to look at, from former champions to top outsiders. I’ll group them and discuss their prospects.
THE ACES
Hiroshi Tanahashi
He’s the face of NJPW right now and has returned from several recent injuries to be in this tournament. Not likely to get to the end but will have a strong showing that he can build off in order to get back to the top of the card after his injuries.
Hirooki Goto
His momentum is huge at the moment it seems. He won two years ago and turned that into major success. Might make the semis and might not. He’s doing well enough on his own not to need the win. It wouldn’t hurt him to win and would certainly mean a title reign by the end of the year. I just don’t think he’ll need the win to continue his success.
Shinsuke Nakamura - My pick to win the whole tournament. I think he’ll start off weak and then go undefeated all the way to the final. He’s going to make a showing for sure. The most important New Japan star that hasn’t won the G1. It’s his time. Hell it was his time last year, but that was fine as I’ve said. This time it’s Nakamura’s year to win. He’s one of the most visible stars in New Japan and that always equates to success.
THE YOUNG LIONS
Tetsuya Naito - He’s one half of the tag champions and has been more successful than young lions 10 years ago. Not likely to get higher than midtable in his group. He’ll be an impact in a few years, but won’t manage much this time.
Yujiro Takahashi - Naito’s partner will fare about the same. Probably will go bottom of the group. Don’t expect too much from this young lion just yet. Watch out down the line, though.
THE OUTSIDERS
Satoshi Kojima - Surprise inclusion this year as he makes his G1 return after just leaving AJPW. Outside wrestlers never win the tournament, wouldn’t make sense. Sometimes they make the finals and lose to make a winner look strong against other feds, but that’s it. Don’t think he’ll make the final this year. If he’s in New Japan, he’ll have to start from the middle.
Go Shiozaki - If an outsider had a chance to make the finals it would be Shiozaki. He probably won’t, though, as NOAH and New Japan aren’t really feuding. Likely he’s just their to focus on the Tanahashi-Shiozaki feud. Maybe make the finals, maybe make the semis.
THE JUNIORS
Prince Devitt - The Irish sensation is setting New Japan on fire recently. He’s one of the token juniors that made the G1, though he was a last minute replacement for Naomichi Marufuji. Like all juniors in the G1 (except Koji Kanemoto that one time) he isn’t far. Devitt IS the junior division right now so it won’t hurt him to do poorly in the heavyweight-centric division.
Wataru Inoue - I still consider him a junior. Not going to do well at all. Doesn’t have a great record against heavyweights. Filler, really. He’ll compete with Yujiro for bottom of his block.
THE FOREIGNERS
Giant Bernard - The top foreigner in New Japan since Scott Norton, even bigger than Sapp or Lesnar (Bernard is sticking around and making an impact, rather than fucking no-showing title matches). If any of the foreigners are going to get far it’s going to be Bernard. He’s never going to win the thing but he could certainly be in the finals. He has won the New Japan Cup in the past but is unlikely to win the big one. He’ll make a great impact.
Strong Man - I don’t even know who this is, and I don’t care. He’s pure filler. I’m sure they could’ve found someone better to take his spot but there it is. He’ll lose and never be seen again.
Karl Anderson - The Machine Gun is Bernard’s number 2 in the company. He’s made a name for himself by winning the tag titles with Bernard. In this tournament he might get a win or two but nothing more.
THE VETERANS
Yuji Nagata - The Blue Justice leader is always a strong contender in these tournaments. He won in 2001 I believe and has had two reigns as champion and was the ace in the early 2000s. Past his prime now for sure, but that doesn’t mean a thing when it comes to this tournament. Though recent trends in Japan have shifted towards youngsters, the tradition in the company is that the veterans are the winners. Age = strength. Simple as that. Chono won a few years ago and he wasn’t favored at all due to age. What I’m saying is that I think Nagata has a chance to win this. It could propel him towards a match with Makabe and could lead to a third IWGP reign or a solid defense for Makabe. I think he’s got a chance.
Manabu Nakanishi - Won the G1 in 2000 but never won the title until 2008 (or was it 2009?) so he has a history of success. Doesn’t have a lot of momentum right now and is getting older, but neither of those mean a thing as a G1 win could turn everything around. I’m not sure he wins it this time, but maybe he will 10 years after winning his first one. Or he could be a solid opponent and wall in the semis for one of the finalists. Whatever happens I’m sure he’ll do well.
THE VILLAINS
Togi Makabe - Last years winner and the current champion. He won’t win it because that wouldn’t make any sense. The tournament creates a challenger for the champion, so having the champ win the thing would be counterproductive. He’ll definitely look good coming out of the tournament but won’t win it. Has no chance.
Toru Yano - I’ve always liked Yano. He’s that sort of heel that is like a street thug. He has an attitude and you don’t fuck with him. He’s always scowling too. He has a permanent scowl! Sadly he’s not due to make it to the top at any point in his career. It’ll be tag reigns and midcard feuds with other stars. He’ll make the mid-table, maybe lower, this year and won’t even have a sniff of the overall win. It won’t stop him though since he doesn’t even need wins to keep up his place.
That’s it for the contenders. Check out Strong Style Symphony for daily updates on all the action. It’s the best New Japan website and the one I personally go to. I’ll be back after the tournament to talk about the winner.
BOM-BA-YE!!!!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Your Champ Sucks: Rating the 'World' Champions
The thing about professional wrestling is... I don't really watch it anymore. I haven't watched it on a steady basis since probably 2006-2007. Even then I was watching mostly Japanese and ROH stuff. I'm just not very interested in the modern "major" pro wrestling scene.
I realized years upon years ago that I had outgrown what they were trying to push on people. I've covered my disillusion with pro wrestling in detail before, so I'll give a a brief rundown before getting to my main topic. The idea that wrestling is a soap opera is foolish. It's a sort of low-brow performance art. It's something fun for pseudo-intellectual types to critique. Or something. What it shouldn't be is 1 hour 40 minutes of talking and developing horrifyingly stupid stories that are an insult to anyone with a shred of intelligence. The way ahead is through amazing in ring action, and all the major companies have forgotten this despite possessing some of the top talent. Ring of Honor is a huge underground hit, Japanese wrestling never changed it's format, and TNA made it's name based on good old fashioned ACTION.
That whining aside I'll mention the greatest goal of all pros, championships. Every promotion has a prize at the top. Over the years there have been several companies that could truly claim "World" title status. Most of them are dead. Like boxing championships there can never truly be one top champion, but instead dozens of titles all claiming to be the most important in the world. Some companies even have TWO top titles... which is very, very unwise. So let's take a look at the current wrestlers at the peak of their profession.
And yes, I know I probably should have written more about the role that championships play in wrestling. That's sort of a given really. They mean the same thing that any "belt" type championship does. In essence gaining a championship means one of three things: you kissed the right ass, management thinks it's the right move, or the fans are outright demanding it. Sadly the last one happens the least. Fans opinions don't count in wrestling. Ever.
On to the champions!
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT (Big Gold Belt, WCW Title, Smackdown champion, Trips belt)
Jack Swagger
Grade = F
I don't even know who the fuck this is. I watched one promo he did and it was awful. He had no emotion, a dumb looking face, and a boring suit.
WWE HEAVYWEIGHT (Spinner Belt, Cena Belt, Ugliest Title in the World, RAW Champ)
John Cena
Grade = C+
I don't like him and he really can't get any better than a passable match. Although by this point he's really got the whole "being a champion" thing down. It's not as bad as it was 5 years ago, but that's just because I've gotten used to him. The idiots really like him, anyway, so he'll always be champion.
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT (NewWCW championship, nottheX Title)
Rob Van Dam (Johnny the Asp, Robbie Winkle)
Grade = A
Rob Van Dam gets only his second world title run... ever. For one of the most popular wrestlers of the early 00s this is well deserved. He was perpetually a top candidate for the glass ceiling award, but finally broke through a few years ago and never looked back. For once, good job TNA.
ROH "WORLD" CHAMPIONSHIP (Better 5 years ago Title, Best of Whats Left championship)
Tyler Black
Grade = C-
He's not the worst and he's not the best. He really is just the best of what's left after ROH got picked clean by TNA and WWE. With the likes of Nigel, AmDrag, Punk, Joe, AJ, and others long gone they don't have a lot to work with. I haven't seen the recent ROH product enough to know if this is a good move but I always did like Black. With Christopher Daniels on his way back, however, I don't think he's long for the title.
NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT (Rectangle title, Means Nothing Anymore title)
Adam Pearce
Grade = D+
He's the booker, he's the champ. Not as bad as Blue Demon Jr. (who's energy drink I LOVE), but there are so many independent workers out there that could add their name to this title. It's vanishing act after TNA dropped the NWA was total. With no exposure and no real competition, this title is unlikely to ever be in the spotlight again. Though that's what people said back in 2001...
TRIPLE CROWN (50s looking & barely holding together, Baba's belts)
Minoru Suzuki
Grade = B
Had I written this even a week ago it would have been Ryota Hama... and the grade would've been F-. Luckily he dropped the titles on his first defense to the always hard MiSuzuki. This will inevitably lead to Masakatsu Funaki vs Minoru Suzuki which will be some stiff goodness.
GHC HEAVYWEIGHT (...got nothing, Belt of Awesome title matches, Kobashi's belt)
Takashi Suguira
Grade = D+
I'm not against juniors going up a division and winning the top belts, but in this case it just didn't feel right. Suguira really doesn't feel like a top contender to me. Go Shiosaki is awesome, but I don't think he really has the fans in his palm quite yet so the title was taken and given to... Suguira? With so much amazing talent in NOAH I feel like this was just the wrong choice of champion.
IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT (Soured by Sapp, Lessened by Lesnar)
Togi Makabe
Grade = A
He was built up pefectly. After years of getting the big wins but failed title shots, a G1 Climax victory and leading his stable to war against Nakamura, Makabe finally earns his championship and it just feel right. It was a classic slow build that just doesn't happen very often anymore. It worked for Makabe.
So there it is folks. What do you think about the current champions, if anything. Or do you just hate wrestling in general. I'll admit I only found out about half of these (mostly the American ones) through Wikipedia. There isn't much of a place for wrestling in my life. Every so often, like today, I'll get in a mood and watch some. Today I watched an FMW and a NOAH dvd. Guess which one was better? Even so, the FMW was fun. Outside of these occasional days I just don't have a lot of room in my life for wrestling.
I honestly challenge you to go and watch an entire two hour episode of WWE or TNA and see if you can get through it without yelling at the screen in disgust. Or changing the channel due to massive stupidity displayed on screen.
I realized years upon years ago that I had outgrown what they were trying to push on people. I've covered my disillusion with pro wrestling in detail before, so I'll give a a brief rundown before getting to my main topic. The idea that wrestling is a soap opera is foolish. It's a sort of low-brow performance art. It's something fun for pseudo-intellectual types to critique. Or something. What it shouldn't be is 1 hour 40 minutes of talking and developing horrifyingly stupid stories that are an insult to anyone with a shred of intelligence. The way ahead is through amazing in ring action, and all the major companies have forgotten this despite possessing some of the top talent. Ring of Honor is a huge underground hit, Japanese wrestling never changed it's format, and TNA made it's name based on good old fashioned ACTION.
That whining aside I'll mention the greatest goal of all pros, championships. Every promotion has a prize at the top. Over the years there have been several companies that could truly claim "World" title status. Most of them are dead. Like boxing championships there can never truly be one top champion, but instead dozens of titles all claiming to be the most important in the world. Some companies even have TWO top titles... which is very, very unwise. So let's take a look at the current wrestlers at the peak of their profession.
And yes, I know I probably should have written more about the role that championships play in wrestling. That's sort of a given really. They mean the same thing that any "belt" type championship does. In essence gaining a championship means one of three things: you kissed the right ass, management thinks it's the right move, or the fans are outright demanding it. Sadly the last one happens the least. Fans opinions don't count in wrestling. Ever.
On to the champions!
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT (Big Gold Belt, WCW Title, Smackdown champion, Trips belt)
Jack Swagger
Grade = F
I don't even know who the fuck this is. I watched one promo he did and it was awful. He had no emotion, a dumb looking face, and a boring suit.
WWE HEAVYWEIGHT (Spinner Belt, Cena Belt, Ugliest Title in the World, RAW Champ)
John Cena
Grade = C+
I don't like him and he really can't get any better than a passable match. Although by this point he's really got the whole "being a champion" thing down. It's not as bad as it was 5 years ago, but that's just because I've gotten used to him. The idiots really like him, anyway, so he'll always be champion.
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT (NewWCW championship, nottheX Title)
Rob Van Dam (Johnny the Asp, Robbie Winkle)
Grade = A
Rob Van Dam gets only his second world title run... ever. For one of the most popular wrestlers of the early 00s this is well deserved. He was perpetually a top candidate for the glass ceiling award, but finally broke through a few years ago and never looked back. For once, good job TNA.
ROH "WORLD" CHAMPIONSHIP (Better 5 years ago Title, Best of Whats Left championship)
Tyler Black
Grade = C-
He's not the worst and he's not the best. He really is just the best of what's left after ROH got picked clean by TNA and WWE. With the likes of Nigel, AmDrag, Punk, Joe, AJ, and others long gone they don't have a lot to work with. I haven't seen the recent ROH product enough to know if this is a good move but I always did like Black. With Christopher Daniels on his way back, however, I don't think he's long for the title.
NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT (Rectangle title, Means Nothing Anymore title)
Adam Pearce
Grade = D+
He's the booker, he's the champ. Not as bad as Blue Demon Jr. (who's energy drink I LOVE), but there are so many independent workers out there that could add their name to this title. It's vanishing act after TNA dropped the NWA was total. With no exposure and no real competition, this title is unlikely to ever be in the spotlight again. Though that's what people said back in 2001...
TRIPLE CROWN (50s looking & barely holding together, Baba's belts)
Minoru Suzuki
Grade = B
Had I written this even a week ago it would have been Ryota Hama... and the grade would've been F-. Luckily he dropped the titles on his first defense to the always hard MiSuzuki. This will inevitably lead to Masakatsu Funaki vs Minoru Suzuki which will be some stiff goodness.
GHC HEAVYWEIGHT (...got nothing, Belt of Awesome title matches, Kobashi's belt)
Takashi Suguira
Grade = D+
I'm not against juniors going up a division and winning the top belts, but in this case it just didn't feel right. Suguira really doesn't feel like a top contender to me. Go Shiosaki is awesome, but I don't think he really has the fans in his palm quite yet so the title was taken and given to... Suguira? With so much amazing talent in NOAH I feel like this was just the wrong choice of champion.
IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT (Soured by Sapp, Lessened by Lesnar)
Togi Makabe
Grade = A
He was built up pefectly. After years of getting the big wins but failed title shots, a G1 Climax victory and leading his stable to war against Nakamura, Makabe finally earns his championship and it just feel right. It was a classic slow build that just doesn't happen very often anymore. It worked for Makabe.
So there it is folks. What do you think about the current champions, if anything. Or do you just hate wrestling in general. I'll admit I only found out about half of these (mostly the American ones) through Wikipedia. There isn't much of a place for wrestling in my life. Every so often, like today, I'll get in a mood and watch some. Today I watched an FMW and a NOAH dvd. Guess which one was better? Even so, the FMW was fun. Outside of these occasional days I just don't have a lot of room in my life for wrestling.
I honestly challenge you to go and watch an entire two hour episode of WWE or TNA and see if you can get through it without yelling at the screen in disgust. Or changing the channel due to massive stupidity displayed on screen.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Post 200: A Bit of Wrestling
So a quick post for my 200th, and it's about wrestling.
All Japan Pro Wrestling (y'know, that other company in Japan... the one nobody pays attention to) held a show at the Ryogoku Kokugaikan the other day. At this show Satoshi Kojima, otherwise known as the man with one of my favorite names in the world, put his legendary Triple Crown championship on the line. Against who? A giant chunk of fat named Ryoto Hama. Surely it was no contest. Surely Kojima retained his crown against the rookie of only a year. Surely the man who weighed in excess of 400 pounds and tags with Akebono in a veritable buffet of tubby immobility. No. No. Ryoto Hama WON the Triple Crown championship. THIS GUY (on the left).
This guy is fat in ways that Yokozuna only dreamed about. I'm just in absolute shock that he won the title. Although given the fact that AJPW is basically ignored these days, I'm not surprised that Mutoh would pull something like this in hopes of some attention. Some western fans seem to really be into Hama... but I'm unconvinced. This was a big gamble that I'm not sure will play out how they want.
Since I caught wind of this bit of news I started wondering about the rest of the champions around the wrestling world. I can't say that I actually follow this form of entertainment as closely as I used to these days. I check up every now and then out of morbid curiosity more than anything else really. I stopped being a fan of the "genre" of television when I realized that most companies weren't making an appealing product for me. Even a company like TNA which started off on the right foot eventually decided it needed Bischoff and Russo to face fuck it into the ground. So I'm going to take a look at the "world" champions, which I just researched on Wikipedia because I realize I don't know where else to find this information anymore.
WWE
WWE World Heavyweight - Chris Jericho
I think I knew this, but it was still a delightful surprise to see that Jericho was the champion.
WWE Heavyweight - Deacon Bautista
How very ordinary and boring. A weightlifter wins a belt in MacMahon's company.
TNA World Heavyweight - AJ Styles
One of the few people deserving to hold the title on a regular basis. Quite good.
NOAH
GHC Heavyweight - Takashi Sugiura
What? Though he's a good wrestler I don't see the sense in this. Don't see a long reign here with such competition as Morishima, Marufuji, Shiozaki and Rikio. Let's not forget KENTA is almost healthy again.
NJPW
IWGP Heavyweight - Shinsuke Nakamura
My man Shinsuke! Always a contender, always good. This company is gleefully forgetting the Lesnar and Sapp days of 2005-2006.
AJPW
Triple Crown - Ryoto Hama
See above...
NWA "World" Heavyweight - Adam Pearce
Holy awful! Why did it go back to him? Oh yeah, because he books himself to win it all the time.
RoH
ROH World Heavyweight - Tyler Black
Probably a good choice but I can't really be sure since I stopped watching before he hit his zenith. He's no Nigel or Danielson, but not bad.
Well, that's my look at wrestling. Don't expect another one for a long time. I'm really not interested in wrestling anymore. Maybe NOAH and NJPW, but nothing domestic.
All Japan Pro Wrestling (y'know, that other company in Japan... the one nobody pays attention to) held a show at the Ryogoku Kokugaikan the other day. At this show Satoshi Kojima, otherwise known as the man with one of my favorite names in the world, put his legendary Triple Crown championship on the line. Against who? A giant chunk of fat named Ryoto Hama. Surely it was no contest. Surely Kojima retained his crown against the rookie of only a year. Surely the man who weighed in excess of 400 pounds and tags with Akebono in a veritable buffet of tubby immobility. No. No. Ryoto Hama WON the Triple Crown championship. THIS GUY (on the left).
This guy is fat in ways that Yokozuna only dreamed about. I'm just in absolute shock that he won the title. Although given the fact that AJPW is basically ignored these days, I'm not surprised that Mutoh would pull something like this in hopes of some attention. Some western fans seem to really be into Hama... but I'm unconvinced. This was a big gamble that I'm not sure will play out how they want.
Since I caught wind of this bit of news I started wondering about the rest of the champions around the wrestling world. I can't say that I actually follow this form of entertainment as closely as I used to these days. I check up every now and then out of morbid curiosity more than anything else really. I stopped being a fan of the "genre" of television when I realized that most companies weren't making an appealing product for me. Even a company like TNA which started off on the right foot eventually decided it needed Bischoff and Russo to face fuck it into the ground. So I'm going to take a look at the "world" champions, which I just researched on Wikipedia because I realize I don't know where else to find this information anymore.
WWE
WWE World Heavyweight - Chris Jericho
I think I knew this, but it was still a delightful surprise to see that Jericho was the champion.
WWE Heavyweight - Deacon Bautista
How very ordinary and boring. A weightlifter wins a belt in MacMahon's company.
TNA World Heavyweight - AJ Styles
One of the few people deserving to hold the title on a regular basis. Quite good.
NOAH
GHC Heavyweight - Takashi Sugiura
What? Though he's a good wrestler I don't see the sense in this. Don't see a long reign here with such competition as Morishima, Marufuji, Shiozaki and Rikio. Let's not forget KENTA is almost healthy again.
NJPW
IWGP Heavyweight - Shinsuke Nakamura
My man Shinsuke! Always a contender, always good. This company is gleefully forgetting the Lesnar and Sapp days of 2005-2006.
AJPW
Triple Crown - Ryoto Hama
See above...
NWA "World" Heavyweight - Adam Pearce
Holy awful! Why did it go back to him? Oh yeah, because he books himself to win it all the time.
RoH
ROH World Heavyweight - Tyler Black
Probably a good choice but I can't really be sure since I stopped watching before he hit his zenith. He's no Nigel or Danielson, but not bad.
Well, that's my look at wrestling. Don't expect another one for a long time. I'm really not interested in wrestling anymore. Maybe NOAH and NJPW, but nothing domestic.
Friday, March 5, 2010
KIKU
I found this amazing picture of Kikutaro/Ebessan wearing the blade from Assassin's Creed!! Ridiculous!
Monday, February 8, 2010
That's Why They Call it Schfoopal!
KENTA KOBASHI!
If you aren't afraid then you damn well better be. Run and hide from this 90 foot terror. A man so amazing that every time he chops one guy, it injures eight. The innovator of the true five star match and perhaps eight of the craziest moves in wrestling.
Burning Hammer. Heard of it? One of the greatest finishers ever.
Bow before the godliness of Kobashi! Kobashi! Kobashi!
I PRESENT PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.
Trying to jack his car? He'll smile as he punches the shit out of you, destroying your face and your soul all at the same time. He doesn't even have to unbuckle to do this.
He's beloved by fans from children to elderly. Look at those thrilled children accepting his double hand shake. Seconds later he whipped them about and smashed them into the wall leaving their frail broken bodies on the floor. The parents of the children bowed and accepted this. Kobashi is unbalanced. Don't challenge him!
Kenta Kobashi shortly before transforming back into human from his demon form.
Do you think that Kobashi paid for or even ordered this meal? Naturally, he did not. That man in green was originally enjoying this meal until forcefully removed from his seat by Kobashi. He patiently waits in the background for the table scraps that will be left over. Oh, and Kobashi totally banged that dude's wife. He's just that cool.
Kobashi and one of his man romantic conquests. His smiling face is reminiscent of the joy experienced in youth, which of course he can return to at any minute. That woman was a virgin and a nun until seven minutes after meeting Kobashi.
Kobashi after a grueling match with a giant tentacle monster. Man-God vs Tentacle monster exhibition matches are common in Japan. This was during his GHC title reign and WAS for the title. He defeated the monster in 5 minutes, then ate it's heart to gain the unholy strength.
(Side Note: Did you know Misawa had a daughter? He was married and liked video games too. Still sad at his passing... into the Gates of Hell to defeat the Archdaemon. It's a secret mission he's been sent on that few know about. He'll return in 189 years to reclaim his throne).
If you aren't afraid then you damn well better be. Run and hide from this 90 foot terror. A man so amazing that every time he chops one guy, it injures eight. The innovator of the true five star match and perhaps eight of the craziest moves in wrestling.
Burning Hammer. Heard of it? One of the greatest finishers ever.
Bow before the godliness of Kobashi! Kobashi! Kobashi!
I PRESENT PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.
Trying to jack his car? He'll smile as he punches the shit out of you, destroying your face and your soul all at the same time. He doesn't even have to unbuckle to do this.
He's beloved by fans from children to elderly. Look at those thrilled children accepting his double hand shake. Seconds later he whipped them about and smashed them into the wall leaving their frail broken bodies on the floor. The parents of the children bowed and accepted this. Kobashi is unbalanced. Don't challenge him!
Kenta Kobashi shortly before transforming back into human from his demon form.
Do you think that Kobashi paid for or even ordered this meal? Naturally, he did not. That man in green was originally enjoying this meal until forcefully removed from his seat by Kobashi. He patiently waits in the background for the table scraps that will be left over. Oh, and Kobashi totally banged that dude's wife. He's just that cool.
Kobashi and one of his man romantic conquests. His smiling face is reminiscent of the joy experienced in youth, which of course he can return to at any minute. That woman was a virgin and a nun until seven minutes after meeting Kobashi.
Kobashi after a grueling match with a giant tentacle monster. Man-God vs Tentacle monster exhibition matches are common in Japan. This was during his GHC title reign and WAS for the title. He defeated the monster in 5 minutes, then ate it's heart to gain the unholy strength.
(Side Note: Did you know Misawa had a daughter? He was married and liked video games too. Still sad at his passing... into the Gates of Hell to defeat the Archdaemon. It's a secret mission he's been sent on that few know about. He'll return in 189 years to reclaim his throne).
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Mitsuharu Misawa
Mitsuharu Misawa has died.
It's been a couple of weeks since his death, but the impact is still there. Coping with the death of a true wrestling legend will, sadly, be easier than a normal celebrity death. Even so, Misawa was a wrestling GOD plain and simple. There were rarely finer performers in the ring who were able to sustain such a long, industry impacting career. Misawa WAS Puroresu (Japanese wrestling). He took the reigns of All Japan Pro Wrestling as a young man and revolutionized the style of wrestling. His emphasis on exciting matches full of big, dangerous moves was fresh back in the 90s. Fueds with Kenta Kobashi, Toshiaki Kawada and Akira Taue led to some of the greatest matches in the history of wrestling. He innovated what are now some of the most basic moves of wrestling. Tiger drivers, Emerald Fusion and its knock-offs, and flashy elbow based offensives.
Leaving AJPW in the 2000s Misawa founded Pro Wrestling NOAH. Consistently voted promotion of the year, and several times putting on the highest attended wrestling show in the world for a particular year. The company he created was based on his principles of wrestling. NOAH puts on the best shows yearly. The marquee matches are truly spectacular showcasing the granduer of the 'epic' match. Misawa had his fair share of epic matches. Three Kobashi vs Misawa matches were in the top 10 of all time. Misawa vs Kawada, Misawa vs Akiyama, Misawa vs Taue. He was a man who put on the best shows, and made sure his men did too.
Simply put, Mitsuharu Misawa was magic in the ring. Every time he went out there he put on a brilliant performance. I had the great fortune to see Misawa wrestle in person. I went with two friends on a road trip to Philadelphia to watch what was Mitsuharu Misawa's only US excursion in many years. The atmosphere was, well, magic. There was something special in the air. When his music hit and his banners were marched in, I was instantly a little bubbling child. I was giddy. The match could've been awful, it wasn't, and I couldn't have cared. He was right there, mere feet away. It was the experience of a liftime.
It seems his magic came at a heavy toll, physcially and mentally. He put on matches 9 months a year for 20 years. Wear and tear on his body took it out of him. His heart gave out in the ring and he died in the same place he had entertained millions. He never stopped, he kept going to the very end.
As a (former) fan of wrestling the past couple of years have desensitized me to performer deaths. Dozens and dozens of wrestlers have died in just the past 10 years. Not just old guys whose glory days were the 70s. It's young guys in their prime dying untimely deaths. Its ridiculous how workers in the industry die! Not even the barely significant no-name guys. It's the names. One day a wrestler will be in the ring entertaining a crowd of folks with questionable IQs, a week later he'll die of some heart related disease. It should make wrestling fans extremely angry at the businessmen running the industry. Their "burn 'em up when their young" style of managment, forcing them to be out there 300 days a year is killing these guys. But the fans don't care. They move on and keep those who came before in their memory. The fans should DEMAND more from the management of these companies. The WWE, for instance, seems to only do enough to cover its own ass. This is not the case so much in Japan, where the companies legit look after and care about their wrestlers. They treat their wrestlers decent.
Sadly Mitsuharu Misawa has left the world. Yet his matches and memory will live on, honored forever as an eternal wrestling legend.
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